The Pleasant Bus Journey

I stick my head out of the window. Wind gushes past my hair. I experience a soothing sensation of nirvana. A wide smirk smears across my face. I close my eyes to shelter them against the wind. Nothingness engulfs me momentarily and I’m detached from everything and everyone. Black. Empty. Serene. I like that.

 

I open my eyes and look up. Street lamps pass in successions. One by one. All identical. The light isn’t glaring, it’s soft on my eyes. And I like that.

 

I slowly lower my gaze, and stare off into the horizon.  A humongous matte white cloud drifts slowly in the sky. Ashened by the dark of the night, it looks like cotton dipped in light coffee. I cover miles on the road, but the cloud doesn’t seem to budge. I don’t imagine fancy shapes in it. I never see anything. I just continue to stare and admire the beauty in it’s simplicity. I like that.

 

A song rings in my ear which is in perfect resonance with my situation. I hum the song and mouth the words. I leave everything behind, pushed off to the back of my head.

 

I’m going too fast. My longing for that feeling seems to be longer that the moment itself. A tiny snippet of pleasure that is barely satisfying. I wish it could slow down. I wish the road was endless and the moment timeless. But would all that still make it priceless?

A change of place, a change of heart

I don’t like change. I feel reluctant to accept it. Changes I bring about by myself are okay, but those inflicted on me aren’t.

 
The mental turmoil I’m forced to endure to adjust to it is tiresome. I find it hard to believe. As if I’d just woken up from a pretentious dream in which everything’s static.

 
It takes me a while before I eventually give in. Not like I have a choice. I never find myself welcoming it with open arms. Maybe I’m not versatile. And I thought I’ll never be.

 
Recently, I began to differ. I just see it in a different perspective now. I don’t try to fight it anymore. The initial reluctance still persists, but it doesn’t eat up my mind.
I slowly learnt that it’s easier if I kept my mind off of it. Well, I knew that before too, we all do. But what’s fascinating is that I had come across situations that had helped me do that.

 
College took up most of the burden of distracting me. With so many people around, the thought about the change just slips my mind.

 
But the one I found most helpful was to talk to someone new. Or Someone I hadn’t talked to in a while, for a change. Ironic isn’t it. One change to cover up another. It probably masks the other one. Temporarily.

 
The only change I’m open to, is a change of place. In me it brings, a change of heart. Different emotions rush in me and I’m piqued by curiosity. I immerse myself in engorging the surroundings and take comfort in the beauty of nature.

The Tightrope Walker

Parched was his throat,

and his stomach funnily growled,

the sound of which was drowned,

in the pandemonium of the crowd.

 

His feet started to tremble,

the sun too strong on his slender body.

He couldn’t do this anymore,

walking on this thin rope high up in the air.

 

He pleaded with his eyes,

but a glare from his master silenced him, perhaps forever.

 

One more step and he felt light, his body floating through the air,

one last thud, and he smiled, his sorrows over for a lifetime.

Why Gossip is so Hip?

I think gossip is shallow. I think it’s pointless. It wouldn’t harm anyone if missed, but is missed by no one. It seems like there’s no escape from it. No respite from the constant nagging. Insignificant aspects blanket us, but I wonder why people choose to acknowledge them. One might argue: You’d have to know what’s insignificant to know what isn’t. It might be true, but that doesn’t imply that we make it a habit to blab about the superficial aspects and side-step the truth.

Gossip is rooted into our voguish lifestyle. Sometimes we may not even initiate it, but not being able to refuse it, is also a crime in itself. What I hate the most about gossip, is that it affects my opinions about people. I like my opinions (of people) untouched, unaffected by the views of others. But negative gossip comes in the way. Nothing good comes out of it. It spoils my perspective and the way I think. Personal stuff about people, of which I can guarantee no authenticity, requires me to challenge what I think of them, questioning my self-formed opinion of them. I don’t like that.

I fear what people talk about me behind my back. Truth is, I don’t think I want to know. Cause I’d have this constant nagging in my head which would prevent me from being me. It breaks trust and widens the rift. It isn’t fair to the people who confide in us.

Nobody likes a know-it-all. Nobody can trust someone who talks out of turn. People tend to gossip because they surrender to the temporary pleasure it provides. We feel tempted to quench the thirst of our inquisitive minds. Curiosity can lead us on a wrong path sometimes. And as the saying goes, ‘Curiosity killed the cat’.

Although, I have been presented with a different perspective too. Gossip can in some ways help. For example:- Suppose your colleague in office recently lost her husband leading to depression and indifferent behavior in the office since the past few days. If you were to know this fact through gossip, you’d have a chance to understand the situation and show sympathy towards her.

But if you think about it, you didn’t necessarily need to know that through gossip. It was a fact that didn’t really require discretion. It could’ve been politely put forward to her colleagues. Maybe they could ask her to take a break while they cover for her or they could find other ways to cheer her up. Although gossip did help, it didn’t have to be in the picture.

Gossip may not seem all bad, it never does. But it isn’t exactly a healthy habit for a stable society. I feel it robs us of the chance to frame independent perspectives on people and the world around us. The mere fact that it is an act that requires secrecy suggests that it might be wrong. The fear of being overheard only proves it. I personally feel that it is important to curb it and bring it to a bare minimum. I think people do realize this but I still wonder why gossip is so hip.

Cause Everybody Can’t be Me.

Some people talk only when it seems fit,

Maybe they’re too busy;

I think I’m slowly getting the hang of it,

That everybody can’t be me.

 

I don’t get it the way I want,

Maybe I should be flexible and free;

But that sick feeling always pokes around,

That everybody can’t be me.

 

I can only act like I belong,

Maybe I’m not what they see;

It’s a constant reminder while moving along,

That everybody can’t be me.

 

I hate to goof around and give  fake smiles,

It’s not my cup of tea;

I quit when it dawns after a while,

That everybody can’t be me.

 

I wonder if people think the same,

Maybe they have their own plea;

Sometimes I sigh, “Oh what a shame!

That everybody can’t be me”.

 

We want birds of the same feather. We can probably never be in a place where getting along with others will take nothing but being oneself. So what do we do then?

 

Well if it were up to us, we’d have the whole world dancing on it’s toes. We like people for what we think of them and what we’d like them to be rather than for who they are. We create a mental version of them which is strewn by our experiences with, and opinions of them. We engage in constant conflict to match this version to reality and feel frustrated otherwise.

 

Everybody has their own approach, their own perspectives, making them unique. But we often forget to acknowledge that,  because we cozily cuddle in our comfort zones, smugly believing we’re right.

 

We try to change them to our liking in order to feel comfortable. We thus miss out on a brand new personality that may open our eyes to a different perspective.

 

Change makes us uncomfortable. First opinions stick. Someone is termed ‘Different’ , quicker than ‘Unique’. People take time to identify potential, slower than they call names.

 

But one should have faith in one’s own ideals. They are to be preserved and cherished. Only the worthy deserve to hear them. In fact, they’re the only ones who can value them.

 

Change is important. It’s quite necessary. When we’re not around birds of the same feather, it’s okay to adopt another persona, but it’s foolish to mask our personality.